Are There Justifications for Cheating?
Cheating has affected many of us at one time or another and many of us have ourselves cheated at one time or another. Many of us feel guilty about cheating whilst some of us think it is acceptable under certain circumstances. With that in mind we look at the question of whether there are justifications for cheating.
Many people think that there are no acceptable justifications for cheating. This is in many ways the dominant opinion in society and the media. In most circumstances there are many better courses of action than cheating and if you are considering cheating you should probably try some of the following courses of action and ask yourself some questions.
Can Cheating be Avoided?
The question of cheating is one that unfortunately occupies many of our minds and affects millions of relationships. Cheating can happen for a number of reasons and in a number of circumstances ranging from breakdown in a relationship to too much alcohol and an awful next day. With that in mind we decided to look at whether cheating can be avoided and how you should avoid it where you can. For the purposes of this debate we’re going to delineate between two kinds of cheating – flings and more extensive extra-relationship relations.
When Cheating Helps You Feel Better
Believe it or not, many people claim cheating actually helps them feel better about their situation. Many who have cheated claim they learned a thing or two about themselves and even offer advice to others who are contemplating cheating on their boyfriend or girlfriend. While this whole scenario may seem strange, there are a few points that may have you think about cheating from another perspective.
Many who have admitted to cheating say they have been with their partner for a long time, some for several years. And while they say they enjoy being with this person, life presents new experiences in ways unimaginable. Some say all of the sudden things change and they don’t see the same person they once fell in love with. At one point they claim they could not see themselves cheating on their partner but many experience excitement and thrill their current relationship lacks when they cheat.
Several claim that once they experience a change in their life, this was when the urge to cheat came to light. For example, you may have been working at a certain job for a few years and you decide to take another job at another company because it offers better pay. This not only presents new opportunities for career development, it allows you to have new experiences with new people. You may even find yourself being attracted to someone within this new environment, or someone may be attracted to you. You start flirting with this person and you enjoy the attention it brings. You eventually find yourself hanging out with this person outside of work such as going out for drinks. And you may have an idea of what happens next.
While you are enjoying your new found attention you still feel as if something isn’t right between you and your partner. Changes between the two of you may include experiencing more arguments, not having enough time for each other and you may start rethinking about the status of your relationship. In some cases, you may even find yourself seeking comfort in the person giving you new attention. Your new found attention turns into lust and eventually you find yourself in bed with this person. But once you’ve cheated how do you feel?
Many who have cheated claim they don’t feel bad but feel empowered and even want more. It may be that a certain want or need isn’t being fulfilled. Some claim they like the idea of being able to cheat and not get caught. A few claim they cheat just for the excitement and lust, but still want to be with their partner. Many say cheating on their partner has helped them see their own relationship in a new light. If they have been with someone for so long they feel as if they were missing out on being free to do what they please with others.
But what else about cheating cheaters have learned? Some say it is easy to do and get away with. You need to be clever so you don’t get caught. Lust and love in the mind tend to conflict one another which may a big influence on your decision to cheat.
Open Relationship Outside the Marriage
So the idea of your spouse wanting to date outside of your marriage makes you wonder whether or not it will have a positive effect on your relationship with your spouse. In many cases it depends on how you look at the situation and how open you really are into allowing another person into your marriage. What reasons does your spouse claim for wanting to date or be with another person outside of the marriage? Does your spouse want you to engage in activity with this other person? How does this change or label the status of your marriage?